i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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