I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
