do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
