so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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