It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
