I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
home. puking in laundry basket.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
she told me i tasted like america
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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