she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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