you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
