I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
worst night to have a conscience
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Randomize
