do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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