so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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