I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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