tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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