My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Never underestimate the power of titties
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
