Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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