Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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