my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
