Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
