It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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