I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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