Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
