two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
