so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You made out with two different species that night
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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