Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
