All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
