Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
