I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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