I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
