It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
