Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
