Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
