Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i think i have herpe
just one?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
A+ Viking dick
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
