he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize