Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
