yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Randomize