Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
