so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
