Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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