I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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