this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
