I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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