I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
