I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
