oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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