we made out on top of his cat.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
whose parrot is this?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
