No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
