thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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