Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
