I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
