I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
