You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
