I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
