Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
