Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize