I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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