I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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