He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
