I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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