haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
