it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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